Wordless Wednesday
I’ll be on my boat
Well metaphorically speaking that is because I don’t actually have a boat. I’m just all up in my head lately and not really paying attention to those around me. I’m not purposely ignoring them, it just comes in spurts. One minute I’m able to hold a conversation, be supportive and what not. Then there are moments I’m about as good conversationally as a ChapStick.
So, for now I’ll be on my boat. A boat that is tied up at the dock and anchored because I would damn near have a panic attack if ever really surrounded on all sides by ocean.
Wordless Wednesday
Sort of.
This picture is a few weeks old. I took it from my Blackberry and switched it to b&w because the red eye and poor quality irritated me, but the picture cracks me up.
Rory attempting to do a forward roll on her own.
The newest in yoga poses, downward baby.
Around Town
I think people can either love or hate living in the city. We live in a one of the best neighborhoods in Boston, in my opinion. I grew up in the next town over. Tim grew up here. We’ve been here for eight years now and I was skeptic at first, but it’s a place I’ve come to appreciate more each day.
It’s historic, diverse, has a great sense of community and is convenient to everything. Walk, bike, drive, jump on a bus or train. It’s all at your fingertips.
The North End (“Little Italy”), which has the most glorious pastries and my favorite Chinese restaurant and Starbucks. You can spend some time at Faneuil Hall, Boston Common, Downtown, Copley, Boylston and Newbury Street. There is so much to see, but too much to list here.
I’ve decided that I will make more of an effort to bring my camera with me every time I step out of my house. I’ve spent most of my life here, but if I ever do leave, I want to take those memories with me. Memories more tangible than those I hold in my heart.
F is for Friday and Family
I love Friday’s. It’s “Family Movie Night” in our house and it really helps us all decompress after our busy week. We look forward to it so much we clean up the house completely the night before because once we get in the door around 5:30 on Friday, all we want to do is peel off our clothes, change into our favorite pj’s and collect whatever pillows and blankets we need before we rush downstairs to the living room.
We either rent a movie or pick one we have at home. Some nights we’ll just watch a kid flick like Princess and the Frog and The Parent Trap, but we alternate every other week and introduce classics like to Yours, Mine and Ours with Lucille Ball, BIG and Back to the Future. We’ll order takeout or make pizzas together and eat popcorn and ice cream. Once Rory gets tired, we’ll bring her upstairs and then we spend the rest of the night having a Gilmore Girl marathon until we fall asleep. I definitely recommend picking a night out of the week that works for your family and make a date. It doesn’t have to be anything specific, just a set time aside to hang together.
Each Friday I think I’m going to start recording my favorite things for the week. I feel like I take them for granted lately and really need to be able to look back and remember how good things are even though they are not perfect.
Haley personality is going from sassy to classy. These past few months she’s really been testing us with how far she can push. Since last weekend I see that she is really working on respect more. Rather than “no” and “I don’t want too”, she’s finding ways to communicate her disagreement without all the door slamming and tears. I think she realizes she was spending more time arguing with us than it took for her to actually do what was asked and that maybe we’ll agree to more if she found a better way to ask. I couldn’t be more appreciative. She’s turning 10 this month and I am really treading carefully and trying to allow her to grow into her own person. I hope I’m guiding her well.
Haley is also really enjoying sports. When we decided to give her a break from her 5 years of dancing, it was hard. I just wanted to open her eyes to other activities and then if she decided she wanted to continue dancing (3 days a week, 3 hrs+ a day and the driving back and forth and OMG! the rehearsals and recitals, please no more!), we would sign her back up. However, she really found a love for soccer and lacrosse and she’s becoming really good at it. Plus it’s fun to watch so it’s a win/win.
Rory on the other hand, is giving us a run for our money. She is growing so fast. At 18 months, she is 28lbs and 32.9 inches. She talks so much now and we can actually understand what she’s trying to say. Some of her vocab include:
Hay-yee = Haley
Falfee = Ralphie (our dog)
Whe-yah Munkey = Where’s Curious George or any other monkey for that matter.
Puck = Cup
Shuck = sock
Along with up, more, peeese and of course, no.
She climbs everything or tries to, including all of our baby gates. She watches movies from the comfort of our laundry basket, which she calls Choo-Choo. She prefers vegetables and cheese over a cookie or ice-cream any day. She will stop to dance at the sound of any music and hug and kiss anyone who crosses her path. She is strong-willed and independent and her eyes light up with each new thing she encounters. I love watching it. I love my girls and I hope even with the years between them, they grow up to be as close as I can imagine sisters to be.
So at 4:30, I will run out the door to my car and home to them. I can’t wait.
Wordless Wednesday
This is one of the first pictures we have of Rory.
It sums up how I feel this week.
Here are some that bring me to my happy place for the time being.
Getting Fresh with Emmie and Mel – Week 8: Green Smoothies
Click the photo to be re-directed to the post.
She refused to give it up, but I had to take it and put it in a sippy cup because she almost spilled it a few times. So I gave her back her cup of water in the meantime while I did this.
Stuck
I’m stuck in a place I don’t want to be. A place full of resentment. This is not the first time. I break away from it, I move on (or so I think I do), I am happy and then I find myself circling back again.
I don’t want to point fingers, so I am really doing my best lately not to. Unfortunately, I find that I redirect those resentful feelings back on myself. I apologize. I apologize to myself for not being stronger, putting my life on hold, not asking for more help, not believing in myself. I apologize for giving up to easily, not looking harder for a way, the answers, for trusting too much and letting things get worse.
I’ve been in therapy and yet, I still can’t find a way to let go. I refuse to be unhappy anymore, but I don’t know where to start. I’m moving forward down a path that I’m trying now to plan carefully, but I feel like I’m setting myself up to fail. Waiting for things to go wrong.
These feelings of hurt, worry, anger are making it hard for me to see the positive. The thoughts in my head race, jump around to try to find how I can make things good. I’m desperate. I want to be happy. I want to work towards my dreams and goals without them seeming impossible. I’m determined to make it happen, but I can’t seem to figure out the first step.
See what I see
You have beautiful curls in your hair. Natural golden waves that are smooth and shiny, but you wish them straight.
Your eyes are the most enchanting green, your lashes long. Your teeth, straight and white. Some would say perfect. You wish for glasses and hope for the day you may need braces.
You are 4’4, tall and athletic. You describe your friends, “so tiny and cute”.
I think you are perfect, amazing, brilliant.
I am determined to help you to see what I see.
I love you.
maddogandcompany 