Home > me, Uncategorized > Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

I couldn’t think of the right word to use and am still unsure if this really encompasses it all, but I have extremely low self-confidence and I hate it.

I don’t know how to fix it.  The constant guilt I feel and setbacks in life I have experienced have caused me to constantly judge myself.  I compare myself to others or hold resentment towards people in my life that I blame who I believe could’ve been more supportive while I was growing up.

There are so many things I wish I could go back and do over.  I dwell on them and have a hard time moving forward because of that.

Recently my therapist told me that I need to realize that this is causing me to become extremely depressed and because I’m always “looking at life through this half-empty glass”, she wants to refer me for an evaluation for an anti-depressant.  Something I’ve always been afraid of because of a fear of creating dependence.  I told her last week, I would think about it.

I know my girls deserve a mom who can love and take care of herself.  Someone they can look up to and be proud of.  So, at my weekly appointment I will agree that I will do whatever it takes to better myself even if it brings medication into the picture.

I know it can’t change the past, but maybe it will help me take a baby step forward.

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Categories: me, Uncategorized Tags: ,
  1. October 15, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    I think you totally need more confidence in yourself. You are a great person and a GREAT mom. Believe that about yourself and if that means medication to get there, then that is just doing the right thing for all of you.

    xo

  1. October 15, 2010 at 11:11 am

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